REEL WILD CINEMA: EPISODES FIVE-SEVEN

Balladeer’s Blog’s Forgotten Television feature previously provided background information on Reel Wild Cinema (1996-1997) and examined its first four episodes. Now it’s on to the fifth through seventh episodes.

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE FIVE (May 19th, 1996)

Title: Sci-Fi Mutant Invasion

Truncated Films Shown:

GODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS (1973) – From the maker of Alabama’s Ghost comes this tale of toxic gasses from beneath the Earth spawning a mutated sheep monster which walks erect and looks a little like Mr. Snuffleupagas and Joe Camel. The video cover looks nothing like the creature.

Some of the weirdest corporate and political conspirators that you’ll ever see combine with oddball action, a funeral for a dog that isn’t dead and the lumbering title menace for one feverish flick. On the plus side there’s a lot of interesting Nevada scenery as backdrop for the bizarre storyline. 

CURSE OF THE DOLL PEOPLE (1961) – I’ve reviewed this Mexican horror film in detail previously. For those unfamiliar with it, Zandor, a Mexican priest of darkness rules over a collection of dolls which are really midgets wearing doll masks.

In the film’s world they really are supposed to be large dolls animated by the souls of the people that the dolls kill at Zandor’s command. A female psychic named Karina emerges as a potent foe of the Doll People. 

THE CURIOUS DR. HUMPP (1969) – This infamous black & white flick from Argentina is bad enough on its own, but then some distributors inserted unrelated sex scenes to pad it out to a running time of 87 minutes. You can buy the original version which is fun-bad as well as the extended one which is boring-bad.

A talking brain in a blender eggs on the title mad scientist to have his monstrous henchman abduct attractive couples. Dr. Humpp then extracts vital chemicals from their bodies during sex (years before Liquid Sky!) and uses those chemicals to keep himself alive and young looking. Hilariously bad! 

*** TRAILERS – A look at campy trailers for Evil Brain from Outer Space (1965), The Phantom Planet (1961) and Invisible Invaders (1959).

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE SIX (May 26th, 1996).

Title: Muscles & Monsters

Truncated Films Shown:

MONDO BALORDO (1964) – Okay, for some reason the creative team ignored some of the countless peplums that could have been featured in this episode and instead started out with this. Mondo Balordo (World of Fools) was another of the mondo movies about weird – and often staged – practices and events around the world.

An all-mondo episode would have been a better fit for this film which features a Sinatra-esque dwarf singer, an alleged exorcism, luxury pets, a Borneo production of Romeo & Juliet and more. Boris Karloff narrates if you care. In fact, he narrates even if you don’t care.

THE CONQUEROR OF ATLANTIS (1965) – A proper “muscles & monsters” movie. Kirk Morris plays this flick’s strongman who gets called Herakles in some dubbed versions and Goliath in others. He comes across a desert kingdom which we’re told is really what’s left of Atlantis.

This Atlantis has high-tech video equipment and an army of androids plus the usual beautiful queen and a monster that needs slaying. You know the routine in these films. The mix of science fiction with sword & sandal elements puts it in a subgenre with The Giant of Metropolis, Goliath and the Vampires, Hercules Against the Moon Men and a few others. 

MEDUSA VS THE SON OF HERCULES (1963) – More of your typical peplum name hijinks as what was originally a Perseus movie got retitled and redubbed as a son of Hercules romp.

The result is a movie that reeks of the Perseus tale about him saving Andromeda and her people from the sea monster called the Kraken and the slaying of Medusa. Richard Harrison, later to be edited into countless Godfrey Ho “films”, stars as the son of Hercules but is really Perseus.   

*** TRAILERS – A look at campy trailers for The Magic Serpent (1966), The Witch’s Curse (1962) and Samson & the Seven Miracles of the World (1961). 

THE RUNDOWN FOR EPISODE SEVEN (June 2nd, 1996).

Title: Bad-Ass Babes

Truncated Films Shown:

SHE-DEVILS ON WHEELS (1968) – H.G. Lewis’ schlock classic about a violent female biker gang and their newest recruit. I’m always a sucker for a weird song in a bad movie and this one’s title tune has lyrics like “We are the hellcats nobody liiiikes/ Maneaters on motor biiiiikes.”

Among the She-Devils’ routines are races where the winner gets to pick the man she wants for the night from a “stud line” of willing men. Clashes with cops and rival biker gangs are also on the agenda, including the notorious “dragged face-down across concrete” scene.

WILD WOMEN (1951) – One of the many, many black & white jungle flicks of the past, with all the bad movie elements that that implies. A group of explorers head into the jungles of Africa and – after the usual encounters with stock footage of animals, some of them not even indigenous to Africa – are captured by a lost all-white, all-female tribe.

The ladies have never seen men before and a rivalry develops for the “love” of the male expedition leader. Amid all the goofiness we get a mating ritual which features the man and woman fighting. Actual actors of color are on hand as well, rather than people in dark makeup.

THE ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER (1957) – Some people confuse this with The She-Creature but actually this film is more fun. A cast of B-movie favorites kidnap an heiress and take her to a cabin in the woods until her ransom is paid. A spaceship crashes nearby, unleashing a deadly female alien.

The She-Monster in question is fondly remembered by fans of Psychotronic movies for her incredibly high eyebrow makeup, her long fingernails and for the way she often walks backwards because her costume tore and the filmmakers couldn’t afford another one. Co-written by Ed Wood himself.  

*** TRAILERS – A look at campy trailers for All Men are Apes (1965), Bad Girls Go to Hell (1965), The Wild Women of Wongo (1958) and Women in Cages (1971). 

I’LL EXAMINE THREE MORE EPISODES NEXT TIME.