AMPHIBIAN MAN (1962) BAD MOVIE REVIEW

AMPHIBIAN MAN (1962) – This “mad scientist creates a man capable of living underwater” movie was made in the Soviet Union but frequently appeared in dubbed English on American television decades ago.

While not classically bad, Amphibian Man features plenty of those comfortable B-movie elements that prove schlock is fun to laugh at no matter the country of origin.   

Many online reviewers accuse the makers of The Shape of Water of ripping off this 1962 movie that is based on a 1928 novel. Arguments can be made for that, but it’s important to remember that all sci-fi stories draw from the same general inheritance of tropes.

Amphibian Man itself bears similarities to the 1908 French novel The Man Who Could Live Underwater, in which a mad scientist creates a man-shark which he calls the Ichtaner. Coincidentally enough, in Amphibian Man the man-shark is named Ichtyandr, so this movie is not immune to rip-off accusations of its own. Plus, in both stories, the experimental man-shark is intended as merely the first of many.

This film’s characters:

ICHTYANDR SALVATOR (Vladimir Korenev) – A young Argentinean man whose scientist father prevented him from dying of a lung disease in childhood by grafting shark gills on to his body. Ichtyandr has been raised and educated in isolation and his father even designed a comical looking underwater suit for our hero to wear, complete with a shark fin.

        The Amphibian Man can breathe water or air, but the remaining fragments of his lungs are weak and require daily exercise breathing on land or else they will atrophy, rendering him able to breathe only underwater.

DOKTOR SALVATOR (Nikolai Simonov) – The mad scientist who made Ichtyandr what he is today. Salvator has a seaside lair complete with wildly appointed laboratories for his work and secret tunnels to the sea which permit his son to come and go without being seen.

        This doctor plans to spawn the first of a global race consisting only of amphibious people to live in planned subsea communities which will be free of class distinctions and money. Just as American sci-fi flicks of the 1950s often railed against communism, Soviet films for decades railed against capitalism, and it’s just as much fun to laugh at their overdone propaganda as ours.

GUTTIERE BALTAZAR (Anastasiya Vertinskaya) – The beautiful daughter of a pearl diver in a seaside Argentinean town. She falls in love with Ichtyandr after a few encounters with him, but her father is being leaned on to give her hand in marriage to the movie’s villain, Pedro, in exchange for his debts being paid off.

PEDRO ZURITA (Mikhail Kozakov) – This Soviet production’s regulation issue Evil Capitalist who exploits the pearl divers who work for him and sees in the Amphibian Man the ideal laborer to quickly gather more pearls than he had previously dreamed of.

        Pedro lusts pantingly after Guttiere and wants her despite the fact that she finds him abhorrent. Ultimately, Pedro basically buys her from her father in exchange for paying the old man’s massive debts.

STARYY BALTAZAR (Anatoliy Smiranen) – Our heroine’s elderly father who is horrible with money and willingly surrenders his daughter’s future by marrying her off to the villainous Pedro.

If it wasn’t just 1962, I’d swear Staryy is dressed like one of the Allman Brothers Band, or that he’s ready to follow the Grateful Dead around on tour.

OLSEN (Vladlen Davydov) – The publisher of the local newspaper called the Voice of the People.

He becomes an ally to our star-crossed lovebirds and seems to be the only man in Argentina who doesn’t want to mount Guttiere. 

As the story rolls along, the shark-suit clad Ichtyandr saves Guttiere from drowning while fleeing from Pedro’s sweaty advances. She was unconscious for most of the rescue and when she comes to, Pedro steals credit for having saved her life.

Ichtyandr, who looks like a young Rudolph Valentino, has fallen in “love” with Guttiere, but his father, who looks like he’s made up as a zombie, forbids him from going into town to search for her. Exposure could complicate their lives and jeopardize the doctor’s master plan for the world’s future.

The lovesick Amphibian Man disobeys his father, and, since he can breathe air for limited periods foregoes his shark suit and wanders the town in normal clothing as he searches for Guttiere. Having been raised in isolation, our hero is amazed at human civilization and is so awkward at personal interactions that the film begins to seem like a pilot for a sitcom.

At last, our gilled Romeo finds the young woman and tells her the truth about who saved her from drowning. Evil Pedro catches them together and roughs up Guttiere, only to be decked by Ichtyandr. Pedro and his goons chase our hero, who escapes by diving into the sea.

NOTE: Up until now, I had assumed that the Amphibian Man needed the suit to survive the pressure changes under the ocean, but I guess not since, even in civvies, he’s able to plunge down to his usual tunnel at the bottom of the sea.

At any rate, all B-movie fans know the routine from here, the tragic lovers steal fleeting moments together before Pedro catches them each time and drives away Ichtyandr. At one point, our hero fantasizes about having his father turn Guttiere into an Amphibian Woman complete with her own shark-suit so that the couple could live happily together amid the fish poop.

The Soviet vision of Latin American countries is just as comically stereotyped as any American schlocker from decades ago, and the filmmakers seem to think every man, woman and child in Argentina wears a sombrero on a semi-regular basis. Seriously, don’t play a sombrero drinking game while watching Amphibian Man or you’ll die from alcohol poisoning.

(By the way, this movie was filmed in Baku and other parts of the Soviet Union being passed off as Argentina.)

SPOILERS AHEAD!

The evil Pedro eventually manages to capture Ichtyandr and uses him to start rounding up pearls against his will if he doesn’t want Guttiere hurt. The Amphiban Man is sent underwater on a long chain as a leash so that he can’t escape.

Meanwhile, Pedro pays off Staryy’s debts and marries the terrified Guttiere. Ultimately, Ichtyandr is freed by his father via the latter’s high-tech submarine (at left). He tries to flee with his lady love, but the pair screw it up in a hilariously clumsy way. Pedro has the Amphibian Man jailed as a “pirate.” He is sealed inside a barrel filled with seawater and placed in a cell.

Staryy at last grows a pair and stabs Pedro to death. Guttiere and Olsen bust Ichtyandr out of jail, but too many days have gone by inside the barrel. His lungs are failing and he will no longer be able to breathe on land, only in the sea. Our two lovebirds say a tearful goodbye and then Ichtyandr dives back into his now permanent home.

Okay, that decription makes the film sound better than it really is. Rest assured its tragic love affair is no more realistic than the ones shown in countless Grade Z monster movies of the past. Amphibian Man is also incredibly dull for long stretches and its storyline is very predictable, too.

It still has a certain kitsch appeal, though. There are even a few weirdass musical interludes like in assorted Masked Mexican Wrestler films. First-time viewers may want to be ready to fast-forward through a lot of the movie, but there are plenty of fun, schlocky moments to be found.

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