BRIE LARSON’S BUCKET LIST

Brie Larson

FIRST FEMALE ACTION STAR, LIKE, EVER, DUDE!

Even for a shallow and uninformed “entertainer” (LMAO), Brie Larson is hilariously pompous. She seems narcissistically oblivious to film history – even RECENT film history – and keeps making ridiculous statements that she is some sort of pioneer for having starred in the Captain Marvel movie.

Brie conveniently forgets that Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman beat Captain Marvel to theaters … and so did the Lara Croft, Tomb Raider films, Milla Jovovich’s Alice in the Resident Evil series of movies, the female action stars in Ultra Violet, Elektra, Underworld, Atomic Blonde, Aeon Flux, Kill Bill and so many others.

Quick and the DeadTo say nothing of Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movies and Pam Grier in Foxy Brown, Coffy, Sheba Baby and Friday Foster. And had Larson ever heard of La Femme Nikita?

Even more comical is the fact that she is still at it! What a buffoon! Anyway, here’s a mock Bucket List for the solipsistic Brie Larson:

*** BECOME THE FIRST WOMAN TO WIN AN OSCAR.

*** BECOME THE FIRST WOMAN ELECTED TO THE UNITED STATES SENATE.

xena*** BECOME THE FIRST FEMALE SECRETARY OF STATE IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

*** COURAGEOUSLY BECOME THE FIRST WOMAN TO DISCUSS HER POLITICAL OPINIONS IN AN INTERVIEW.

*** WISH SHE HAD HAD THE COURAGE TO LET A WOMAN OF COLOR STAR AS CAPTAIN MARVEL SINCE THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN MONICA RAMBEAU WAS THE FIRST FEMALE CAPTAIN MARVEL IN THE COMIC BOOKS … of the 1980s.

*** PRODUCE A TELEVISION SHOW CALLED BRIE’S VIEW, IN WHICH FOUR OR FIVE WOMEN WILL SIT AROUND AND TALK ABOUT THE ISSUES. Brie feels the Patriarchy would never have allowed such a program on the air until a strong woman like her came along. 

*** BECOME THE FIRST WOMAN TO EVER TALK ABOUT BEING THE FIRST WOMAN TO DO SOMETHING.

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8 Comments

Filed under humor, opinion

8 responses to “BRIE LARSON’S BUCKET LIST

  1. Well put. I’ve been collecting comics since my first book bought off a comic spinner (DC’s Superheroes vs Super Gorillas! LOL) so I’ve been thrilled to see these stories come to life over the past 10 years.

    And since modern Marvel comic books have been dead to me, it was a pleasure to see the real spirit of these stories in the movies.

    But this new direction for the movies? This toxic garbage masquerading as some sort of superior morality but is really just the same old bigotry? I’ll pass.

    I’m not content to complain about it, I am and will vote with my wallet. Marvel is dead to me now. Still many back issues to catch up on and not support these arrogant elitists.

  2. I loved the Captain Marvel movie – lots of fun and well worth the ticket price.

    • That is good to hear. I haven’t seen it, I just got a laugh out of the way Brie seems to think she broke fresh ground despite last year’s Wonder Woman movie and all the rest that I mentioned.

  3. Bomar

    This made me laugh so hard! Gal Gadot has it all over this clueless Brie Larson!

  4. Linsey

    I loved this! Brie seriously needs to acknowledge the women who came before her and stop acting like she’s a pioneer.

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