IF OBAMA HANDLED PEARL HARBOR …

Obama making a face

Obama at his most presidential

Balladeer’s Blog is still the only site on the web that criticizes both Liberals and Conservatives equally. When innocent people get killed by Muslim terrorists Barack Obama’s response is to lecture the nation whose diverse people elected him twice about what disgusting bigots he and his fellow pompous asses consider Americans to be. This weak and pathetic little man even says “ISIL” instead of “ISIS” just to grovel for Muslim fanatics who prefer the acronym “ISIL”.  

Obama’s creation of the Islamic State through his premature withdrawal from Iraq and his general “masochism as foreign policy” approach inspired this look at how this worst of all presidents might have handled the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. 

Obama fail

The confused, uncomprehending face of utter incompetence.

For starters Barack “Eddie Haskell” Obama would have claimed the attack was “Fake News” and would have been too busy with golfing, fundraisers and tentative spin doctoring to even address the nation until sometime around January 24th, 1942. And that’s being optimistic. 

” My fellow Americans, I speak to you today as a special guest on the Fibber McGee and Molly radio show. I am addressing you this evening about the recent incident in which America’s usual imperial and dictatorial behavior provoked the innocent nation of Japan, home of Shinto, the Religion of Peace, to act in their own defense by conducting a few military exercises in the Hawaiian Islands.

Even though my political opponents sought to make cheap political capital out of this tragic misunderstanding by reacting to Fake News stories about the bombing, I, as President of ALL Americans who slip me graft money under the table, knew that the best course of action was to be patient and wait until all the facts were in. 

This vile capitalist nation that I am unfortunate enough to lead fully deserves such attacks and we must not underestimate the role played by Japanese anger over the casting of non-Asians to play Asians in Hollywood movies. 

With all the facts now in, I can confidently say to the American people that this foul country’s evil occupation of the Hawaiian Islands MUST come to an end if we are to peacefully coexist with the nation of Japan. I have ignored the advice of the Pentagon and have established an accelerated timetable of withdrawal from Hawaii in order to return it to its rightful place as part of the Japanese Empire, which my history instructors at college taught me it once was.

I also plan to travel to Tokyo to personally apologize to the Emperor for the horrible way the United States and other western democracies have unjustly interfered with their affairs.

Such an apology will also be extended to that visionary leader Adolf Hitler, who has endorsed me for reelection even though the next election is not until 1944. The western democracies reduced his noble and peace-loving people to the state they found themselves in following World War One and we need to ask for forgiveness and assure them that our foul and wicked nation will cease from criticizing Germany’s attempts to peacefully coexist with whichever country it has most recently annexed- uh, I mean liberated – from the puppet governments imposed by the capitalist imperialists of the west.

When my administration has received permission from the sovereign nation of Japan we will begin evacuating American citizens from the Hawaiian Islands. For now the Imperial Japanese government is holding all American citizens in Hawaii in internment camps as they have done with British and other citizens in Singapore and all other places where they have raised the Japanese flag to drive out the forces of slavery represented by the United States and other western nations. 

Some in the United States have criticized this act of internment on the part of Japan but that simply reflects America’s lack of sophistication and cowboy refusal to be part of the brotherhood of nations. Internment has been a long-accepted act in Asia, Europe and elsewhere, where international sophisticates no doubt laugh at America’s lack of familiarity with such an old custom of nations at war.

Even during the First World War the Muslim Turks interred resident aliens and if cultures as revered as the former Ottoman Empire embraced such actions in time of war who are we Americans, with our foul history of slavery, to look askance at the traditions of others?

I will close by saying that the future must NOT belong to those who would demean the peaceful Shinto faith or the Teutonic myths – uh, I mean Teutonic belief system – held dear by the peace loving peoples of Germany. “

(NOTE FROM BALLADEER – To avoid confusion over a side issue I do NOT condone internment. That part of this piece was just a kidding reference to the way the Barack Obamas of the world overlook heinous behavior in other nations but condemn the western democracies if they ever engaged in the same repellant acts.)

AND FOR MORE OF MY TAKES ON MINDLESS LIBERALS AND MINDLESS CONSERVATIVES CLICK HERE:  https://glitternight.com/category/liberals-and-conservatives/

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

   

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

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