Monthly Archives: August 2010

TODAY’S COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM – WHITTIER COLLEGE

WHITTIER COLLEGE POETS

Location: Whittier, CA

Division: NCAA Division 3

Conference Affiliation: Southern California Intercollegiate Athletic Conference

Major sports: football, basketball, baseball, soccer

Site: http://www.wcpoets.com/landing/index

Comment: Remember this exchange in Aristophanes‘ comedy The Frogs – Question: What do you expect a poet to do? Answer: Why, save the nation, of course! We won’t be putting that much pressure on the Whittier teams, thankfully. It would be easy to go the cheap joke route and say something like “What’s the matter? Was the nickname The Ballet Dancers already taken?” But I actually think poets are pretty cool – just ask Francois Villon!    

For more of NCAA Division 3′s Coolest-Named Teams click here: https://glitternight.com/d3-20-coolest/   

 For the NAIA edition of The 20 Coolest College Sports Teams You May Never Have Heard Of click here: https://glitternight.com/2010/06/21/the-20-coolest-named-college-sports-teams-you-may-have-never-heard-of-naia-edition/ 

And for The 20 Coolest College Sports Logos click here: https://glitternight.com/2010/07/20/the-20-coolest-college-sports-logos/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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VIKINGS PRESEASON ACTIVITIES VIRTUALLY ON HOLD FOR ONE VERY SPECIAL MAN

“You shouldn’t have!” I exclaimed to the thousands of Missouri Valley College Vikings fans, coaches and student-athletes who had turned out to greet me. It was a veritable media circus what with all the television stations covering my plane landing and my ride to the MVC campus. Sports-talk radio stations were discussing one subject and one subject only: me.

After Head Football Coach Paul Troth made his welcoming speech it was my turn to speak. I choked back tears of emotion and started out by thanking everyone for bearing with me as I agonized over whether or not I would make a blog post about the preseason activities for MVC Vikings fall sports. After the usual opening blandishments I got more to the point with my comments:

“I know some people could say ‘This guy must be incredibly insecure and have a very fragile ego to want to have it stroked so frequently.’ They could say ‘He long ago robbed moments like this of even the pretext of sincerity by shedding crocodile tears at some of his previous public remarks.’ They could ask ‘How hopelessy misguided are the so-called sports media to actually think people want non-stop coverage of one egomaniac’s Hamletesque posturing’…Yes they could say all of these things and there would certainly be some truth in all of those comments.”

After making a mental note to myself to rent a pickup truck for the next public appearance I made like this (preferably one with no muffler) I got down to actually covering the story I had come to Marshall, MO to cover. 360 Missouri Valley College student-athletes had reported to campus to begin preparing for the upcoming academic and sports seasons. Every single one of them told me they were big fans of my blog, proving to me that they were even less sincere than I was.

Football, volleyball, cheerleading and both the men’s and women’s soccer teams were all on-hand and getting ready to compete. The ladies on the volleyball team start their season August 27th in the Grand View Tournament in Des Moines, IA (Tourism slogan: “Des Moines: C’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?”).  The men’s and women’s soccer teams both host their home-openers on August 31st and the football team takes it on the road against the Baker Wildcats on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, Sept 4th.

The sun was beginning to set, so it was with a renewed sense of urgency that I hit up all the head coaches for a few quotes to justify this whole trip as a business expense on my tax returns. Unfortunately on the return flight I accidentally spilled bourbon all over most of my notes. Luckily a few quotes from Head Volleyball Coach Derick White survived intact.  “I am very excited to get the 2010 season started,” he said, “We have some great freshmen and transfers to add to our mix of talented returners. We are hitting the ground running learning our system and we are looking forward to implementing it in our first weekend of play.” 

Here I am with some of the MVC Vikings whom I talked into posing as high school students so I could condescendingly make a big deal about tossing them a few footballs.

 

To find out how much the cleanup following the big welcome I got will cost the taxpayers of Marshall, MO click here: http://www.moval.edu/athletics/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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QUICK TAKES III: THE DEATH OF MICHAEL CORLEONE

Bland Response – On August 28th the Cumberlands Patriots take on the McKendree Bearcats in the Big River Bowl. On playing a ranked team on opening weekend Patriots Head Football Coach John Bland had this to say: “We have a tough schedule to start with and only two weeks to get ready for one of the top 10 teams in the nation.” Bland’s Patriots have won back-to-back Mid-South Conference divisional titles and went on to the 2009 playoffs where they lost to the Lambuth Eagles.   

Son Of BAPSSAS – At the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma (cool team name The Drovers) the Bill And Pat Smith Scholar Athlete Scholarship actually had two recipients this year. The first was Tashina Ototivo and now, since Bill Smith decided to sponsor another recipient, Dakota Webster, who plays for the men’s basketball team at USAO! Besides having a name cool enough to be the title of a movie, Dakota stood out with his classroom excellence (3.82 GPA), on-the-court performance (A 53.8 percent shooter) and with community work at the Special Olympics.  “It’s definitely an honor,” Webster said on finding out he was the recipient, “I was excited. It’s definitely going to help.” Webster’s a biology major who may very well be operating on some of us down the road so let’s be really really nice to him!

The Battle Of Hastings – Don’t like that title? How about “Hastings Pudding” for you Harvard alumni? No? Oh, forget it! The Hastings Broncos men’s soccer team has been picked in the coaches’ poll to win the Great Plains Athletic Conference title this season. The Broncos were 16-4-3 overall last year and 10-1-1 in conference play, taking the GPAC title. 

HSPN ZONE – While this is generally a college sports blog I also like to cover items that slip through the cultural cracks (see my pages on Navajo and Bunyoro Mythology) so this story is appropriate. HSPN is the Homeschool Sportsnet (www.HSPN.net) which is to Homeschool sports what Balladeer’s Blog tries to be for NAIA and NCAA Division 3 sports. For the 4th year HSPN will be running the National Homeschool Scoreboard, a free on-line service where teams can have their scores, schedules and stats reflected in real-time! For more details go here:   
The National Homeschool Scoreboard is now 4 Years Old 

 
It’s New Year’s In August At Saint Xavier – The SXU Cougars athletics department has launched a new website at http://www.sxucougars.com/ and their 2010-2011 athletic season begins this week! On August 21st the men’s soccer team travels to Columbia, KY to play the Lindsey-Wilson College Blue Raiders. And be sure to ring in this New Year in Cougar athletics by watching Rob Huizenga’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve on August 20th! At Midnight we’ll all gather ’round to watch another Illinois governor fall!
 
Wisconsin-Whitewater Warhawks: Why, What Wonders We’re Witnesssing! – The University of Wisconsin-Whitewater football team is coming off 5 straight Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference titles and more importantly are the defending National Champions of NCAA Division 3. They’ve been picked to repeat in some of the preseason polls and if you know D3 football you just know the Mt Union Purple Raiders are also right near them in the rankings. Every year since 2005 the D3 Championship game has been played between those two teams when the dust settles in the playoffs. The Warhawks begin their title defense on September 4th against the Adrian College Bulldogs. Personally I wish they could play a team like the Connecticut College Camels in a game they could call The Alliteration Bowl. Too bad CC doesn’t sponsor football!
 

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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THE SWEDE LIFE

As Brent Musberger would say “You are looking live” at the 2010-2011 Cheerleading and Dance recruits for the Bethany College Swedes. The names of the ladies in this baker’s dozen are as follows:

Top Row: Brianna Hoffman, Leanna Streit, Kelsi Pomeroy, Kaila Sanders, Tessa Peters (seen here showing how tough she is by just daring motorists to hit her), Jenny Dwyer

Bottom Row: Darrian Wannow, Kira Farmer, Rhyanna Bruner, Cari Nelson, Vanessa Anderson, Lacey Jones, Jenna Rivers (seen here clutching her gunshot wound – Cheer and Dance is more dangerous than football apparently!)

Cheer and Dance fans will be delighted to hear that since more than 50 NAIA member institutions will be participating in Cheer and Dance  competition for the 2010-2011 academic year the NAIA could hold it’s first National Championship tournament for the sport as early as the spring of 2012. And with the world supposedly coming to an end later that year the winner of that championship will have all eternity to bask in that glory!

For info on filling out your 2012 bracket for the NAIA Cheer and Dance Tournament in your office pool click here: http://www.bethanyswedes.com/ 

And for more Bethany Swedes stories click below:

https://glitternight.com/2010/07/19/how-swede-it-is/

https://glitternight.com/2010/07/17/the-winner-of-the-coolest-named-sports-teams-contest-the-usao-drovers/

https://glitternight.com/2010/06/21/the-20-coolest-named-college-sports-teams-you-may-have-never-heard-of-naia-edition/

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THE COOLEST HELMET IN THE NORTH COAST ATHLETIC CONFERENCE

Team: Kenyon College Lords

Site: http://athletics.kenyon.edu/index.xml

Comment: Not to be confused with the Amherst Lord Jeffs, who play in the New England Small College Athletic Conference, the Kenyon Lords are named after Lord Kenyon (“It’s a switcheroo!”), an English Lord who was one of the first financiers of the school. An English Lord getting a mad posh to finance a school in Ohio, USA sounds like a premise for a new movie starring Hugh Grant as Lord Kenyon and Elizabeth Hurley as Bishop Philander Chase, founder of Kenyon College. Naaah. She doesn’t have enough range.

As always, football helmets courtesy of The Helmet Project at: http://www.nationalchamps.net/Helmet_Project/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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THE “RACHEL LAIRD FEMALE BLOGGER OF THE WEEK” AWARD

This award goes to “Ruthie’s Viewpoint”. Ruthie had the good taste to mention my blog since she is a student at Montana Tech (cool team nickname: The Orediggers) who liked her school getting mentioned in my NAIA edition of The 20 Coolest-Named College Sports Teams You May Never Have Heard Of. Who needs The View when you can get mentioned at “Ruthie’s Viewpoint” instead? Here is the link:http://mtech.edu/viewpoints/ruthie.htm

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TODAY’S COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM- SWEET BRIAR COLLEGE

SWEET BRIAR COLLEGE VIXENS

Location: Sweet Briar, VA

Division: NCAA Division 3

Conference Affiliation: Old Dominion Athletic Conference

Major sports: soccer, softball, volleyball, swimming, tennis, lacrosse, field hockey, horseback riding

Site:  www.vixenathletics.com

Comment: As the nickname Vixens would imply this is an all-female institution. (For those who don’t know a vixen is a female fox). Really cool name for sports teams and their colors are pink and green so that’s pretty cool, too!

For more of NCAA Division 3′s Coolest-Named Teams click here: https://glitternight.com/d3-20-coolest/   

 For the NAIA edition of The 20 Coolest College Sports Teams You May Never Have Heard Of click here: https://glitternight.com/2010/06/21/the-20-coolest-named-college-sports-teams-you-may-have-never-heard-of-naia-edition/ 

And for The 20 Coolest College Sports Logos click here: https://glitternight.com/2010/07/20/the-20-coolest-college-sports-logos/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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LNN: LINDENWOOD NEWS NETWORK

 

"This is LNN"

 

When you’re a big-time, world-renowned blogger like myself, you get sports news releases in your e-mail in-box, along with the usual pro bono notifications that a bank in Nigeria needs your help in disbursing large amounts of money (easiest 2 million bucks I ever made!). Anyway, one of those releases included a veritable bonanza of information about the sports programs at Lindenwood University. Since at first glance it seemed like enough material to launch a sports network about the Lions I used that as my lame premise for this post.

*ITEM: LION-HEARTED  BILL BRITTON: HERO AT LARGE – July 26th – Bill Britton, an incoming football player for the Lions, along with his cousin Jeff, came across an overturned vehicle on Highway 100 in Missouri. Not only did they call 911 but when the vehicle burst into flames Britton, Jeff and 2 other people dragged the driver out of the vehicle to safety.  “I still do not know what to think about it,” said Britton, “…The flames were five foot high and you could hear the tires popping. It is cool though that we were in the right place to be able to help somebody out.”   In the tradition of Buford Pusser and Serpico some enterprising producer needs to turn this into a television series. Jeff would have his own spin-off series, so the show about Bill would have TV Guide entries like this: “Bill’s attempt to finish his term paper is interrupted when he is called upon to save the elderly patients at the nearby hospital from a dangerous gas leak.” or maybe “On his way to practice Bill becomes caught up in a Tri-State search for a missing toddler.” For the big season-ending clifff-hanger it could read “Bill’s budding romance with an exchange student involves him in a desperate attempt to save the staff at the International Space Station from certain doom.” I think we’ve got another Frank Merriwell on our hands here!

*ITEM: LINDENWOOD ATHLETICS TO BEGIN 2010-2011 SEASON – Following a hotly-contested vote the students and administration of Lindenwood University moved that it was, indeed, the 2010-2011 sports season. 

*ITEM:  MORE THAN 10 LIONS INDICTED – July 30th – Okay, that was just my teaser headline to get attention. In reality this story is about former Lindenwood Lions individuals and teams being inducted into the university’s Athletic Hall of Fame. (Who doesn’t love play-on-word headlines? Well, besides the people who overreacted when I ran the headline “4 Dead In Local Pre-School” instead of “4 Deer In Local Preschool”. Some people just can’t take a joke!) Inductees will be: student athletes Dawn Cameron “Swayze”, softball; Jenifer “Leave off the second N for ‘Nice'” Dykes, women’s soccer; Matt “Johns” Hopkins, men’s golf; Debbie Johnson “Is Right!”, women’s soccer; Jason “Your-cek” Micek, men’s golf;  “Dangerous” Daniel Odom, men’s basketball; “Mighty”, Michelle Patrico, softball; and Katie “Killer K.P.” Pizzardi, women’s basketball.  Also being inducted are Fern Bittner, former Director of Horsemanship; Dr Harlen C Hunter, Meritorious Service; the 1977-78 Men’s Basketball Team; the 1999-2000 women’s basketball team; the 2004 men’s soccer team and oddly enough the 1988 Notre Dame football team. Weird. The 2010 Induction Ceremony will take place Homecoming Weekend Oct 15th-16th.

* ITEM: THURSDAY NIGHT MILESTONE – The first ever Thursday night game in Lindenwood Lions football history will take place September 2nd as the Lions welcome the Evangel University Crusaders.  

*ITEM: BEDTIME FOR ZOMBO – July 14th -Former NHL Player Rick Zombo has taken over as Head Coach for the Lindenwood men’s ice hockey team. For the past 2 years Zombo has been the team’s  Top Assistant Coach and helped the Lions capture 2 straight National Championships for ice hockey. “With the increase in responsibility as head coach,” Zombo observed, ” my ambition is to make the program even stronger. We have a tremendous core of returning players that understand the difficulty of winning a title, but will cherish the process of continued success.”  

To read the coach’s annoyed reply when I asked if he was related to the Zombo character that Louis Nye portrayed on an old episode of The Munsters click here: http://www.lindenwoodlions.com/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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THE COOLEST HELMET IN THE MID-STATES FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION – MIDEAST DIVISION

Team: Malone University Pioneers

Site: http://www3.malone.edu/athletics 

Comment: Pioneers need to be made of hardy stock, and if the face on that helmet was any hardier opponents would get a bloody nose just looking at him! Malone University was named after Walter and Emma Malone, so maybe that picture is supposed to be Walter…or perhaps Emma after a LOT of surgery!  

As always, football helmets courtesy of The Helmet Project at: http://www.nationalchamps.net/Helmet_Project/

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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DROVERS STAMPEDE THEIR WAY TO THE TOP OF THE SAC SOCCER POLL

I know David Beckham had just gotten the surprise of his life but when I spotted him I recognized an opportunity for an exclusive interview. I was determined to get his views on the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma Drovers soccer program. I cornered him and his wife and after making a few sympathetic noises about what had just happened to him I rolled into interview mode: 
   
“So, David'” I began, “What are your views on the USAO Drovers men’s soccer team being picked to win the Sooner Athletic Conference this year?”
 
“What?…Who are you?” he asked. “Blimey” he added emphatically.
 
“Well, Dave…Can I call you ‘Dave’? They are after all the defending conference champions and went 17-2-1 overall and 8-0-1 in conference play last season.” 
   
“Why,” Beckham stated, tentatively,”I can’t believe you’re bothering me with this after what just happened to me.”
 
“If you were wondering, Dave, the placement in that preseason poll is determined by the coaches’ votes.”
 
“What are you talking about?”
 
“Were you pleased by men’s head coach Jimmy Hampton saying ‘…Preseason polls won’t win games. We are…focusing on working hard and competing hard, in order to represent USAO in the best manner we can'”?”
  
 “That’s fine, but…”
 
“And don’t forget the Drover women, Dave,” I continued, “They should be conference contenders, too, having finished third in the women’s preseason poll. They went 13-6 last year, 7-4 in the conference and they bring back the same talent from last year, but with a bit more maturity and experience.”
 
“What does any of this have to do with me?” Beckham said, irritably, but I was rolling.
 
“The Drover women play a scrimmage against Northern Junior College on August 24th and the men kick off their regular season August 31st against Hillsdale College. Isn’t that right, Dave.”
 
“I…I guess so.”
 
And that wrapped up my exclusive interview with David (“Dave” to close friends like me) Beckham on the state of Drovers soccer. Now I just have to sit back and wait to hear from the Pulitzer Committee.
To read my interview with Posh Spice about her views on Non-Euclidian Geometry click here: http://www.usao.edu/usao-sports/
 
For more USAO Drovers stories click the links below:
 
 

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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