HOUSE OF FRIGHTENSTEIN (1971-1974) HALLOWEEN FUN FOR CHILDREN

THE HILARIOUS HOUSE OF FRIGHTENSTEIN (1971-1974) – Balladeer’s Blog’s recent review of Countdown Canada (1970) generated so much excitement that I decided to go to the Canada Well once again with this classic children’s series which combined kid-friendly monsters with educational programming and the always welcome Vincent Price.   

Picture The Groovy Goolies crossed with The Electric Company and you’ll grasp the vibe of The Hilarious House of Frightenstein, created by Ted Barris. Vincent Price not only introduced each sketch during the show, but also did the program’s beloved opening in which – long before his spoken word bit in Thriller – he recited the campy introductory poem.

That poem went “Another lovely day begins, for ghosts and ghouls with greenish skin. So close your eyes and you will find, that you’ve arrived in Frightenstein. Perhaps the Count will find a way, to make his monster work today. For if he solves this monster-mania, he can return to Transylvania! So welcome where the sun won’t shine, to the castle of Count Frightenstein!” And then Price did his patented sinister laugh, again like he would go on to do for Thriller more than a decade later.

As that intro indicated, the premise to this show was that Count Frightenstein and the others at his castle in Frankenstone were living in exile from Transylvania until he could bring Brucie J. Monster (basically the Frankenstein Monster) back to life. That backstory was really just the excuse for the ensuing madness in the form of kid-friendly comedy sketches and educational material, all presented with monsters as the characters.   

ROLL CALL:

COUNT FRIGHTENSTEIN (Billy Van) – The Count was an unconventional vampire who lived by eating pizza rather than drinking human blood. In addition to his endless failed experiments to revive Brucie J. Monster he took part in certain other sketches with supporting cast members.

IGOR (Fishka Rais) – Count Frightenstein’s bumbling lab assistant. Reflecting House of Frightenstein’s wry sensibilities, Fishka Rais portrayed Igor in the spirit of B-Movie icon Tor Johnson.

      Igor would always deliver the faux National Anthem of Transylvania, sung to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic aka Glory, Glory Halleluiah: “Gory, gory Transylvania/ The werewolves and bats will always maim ya/ The murky moors will likely claim ya/ As we go stumbling through, through, through!” 

THE WOLFMAN (also Billy Van) – A werewolf disc jockey who talked like Wolfman Jack. He played records for EECH Radio and he & Igor would dance to actual pop and rock songs of the time period while the kids watching at home were encouraged to get in some exercise by dancing along with them.

      After the early 2000s this program no longer had the rights to keep playing many of the pop songs for the Wolfman sketches. 

GRIZELDA THE GHASTLY GOURMET (also Billy Van) – Van spoke in the voice of cooking show host Julia Child for this witch character whose sketches involved her making appropriately (for a child’s sense of humor) gross dishes for her audience.

THE MINI-COUNT (Guy Big) – Three-foot-tall performer Guy Big portrayed this failed clone of Count Frightenstein who didn’t grow to full size. And remember, this was long before Marlon Brando’s miniature sidekick in the 1996 Island of Dr. Moreau AND before Dr. Evil’s Mini-Me.

*** Billy Van also performed in costumes as assorted other characters who would show up in their own educational sketches. My favorite among those is Bwana Clyde Batty, because no matter the decade, children ALWAYS love joking references to old-time lion-tamer Clyde Beatty. (I’m kidding.)

      The Bwana Clyde Batty segments would feature him hosting Zany Zoo, in which he provided facts about wild animals and spouted his catch phrase “Ooga Booga.” (Not to be confused with comedian David Spielberg’s catch phrase “Booga Booga.”) 

      Other Billy Van characters included the sinister, elderly Librarian (at right), the Oracle, a gypsy fortune teller who read comical horoscopes in the voice of Peter Lorre, and Grammar Slammer, an invisible ghost who would chide Igor about proper grammar accompanied by his purple monster friend Bammer (Joe Torbay). 

*** In Canada, The Hilarious House of Frightenstein episodes filled a 1-hour timeslot with commercials, but in the U.S. they were aired in half-hour episodes with commercials, so it took twice as long to get through an entire run of the series. A cartoon revival of this program has come along in recent years. 

Let’s wrap up with Vincent Price’s closing words from each episode of this show: “”The castle lights are growing dim. There’s no one left but me – and him. [Brucie J. Monster] When next we meet in Frankenstone … don’t come alone.”

FOR MORE HALLOWEEN SEASON ITEMS CLICK HERE.