Roger Goodell


BALLADEER’S BLOG: Can I call you “Commish?”

ROGER GOODELL: I’d rather you call me what NFL players call me.

BB: The Great White Dope?

RG: No … NO! They call me Commissioner.

BB: If you say so, Roger. How do you feel about the state of the NFL right now?

RG: Are you kidding? I’m ECSTATIC! Normally at this time of the year the news is full of nothing but stories about all the rapists and woman beaters who play in the NFL! This year by making a weak-minded, lazy, meaningless gesture before games we immediately got the corporate media to praise us and overlook all the crimes our players commit. We should have thought of this years ago!

BB: Aren’t you worried about how you’re driving away regular viewers just to curry favor with a bunch of self-righteous jackasses who tune in simply to see the kneel-downs then stop watching? 

roger goodell 2RG: Trust me, all the fans who say they won’t watch again will eventually come crawling back to us. We could have NFL players go take a dump on all of their front lawns and then flip them off and those fans will STILL keep kissing our asses. There is no need to show respect to pussies like that. It’s better to “curry favor” as you put it, with Democrats since they are so viciously unforgiving.  

BB: Many people who are neutral on the whole anthem protest issue per se are pointing out that it’s wrong for the NFL to be so hypocritical. You forbade NFL players to commemorate the police officers gunned down in Texas by BLM and forbade any team acknowledgement of the 9-11 victims. Yet you allow players to protest the anthem and to insult fans who point out their hypocrisy.    

RG: My staff assures me that only icky people get upset about the players taking a knee during the anthem. Cool people love it. Similarly, icky people would have approved of the shoutout to the dead pigs and the imperialist scum who got killed by brave Muslims on 9-11. Cool people, however, would have taken offense at such disgusting displays. 

roger goodell 3BB: Even if we overlook your childish references to “icky people” and “cool people” you still seem oblivious to the fact that you are siding with people who don’t tend to watch your product and repeatedly insulting the people who do.

RG: To hell with the white oppressors who are upset. We at the NFL want ONLY those fans who are “woke.” +++

By the way, I’m neither a liberal nor a conservative. Want proof? CLICK HERE 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. 




  1. i stopped watching in the showboat days of terrel owens, the crouch grabbing days of that lynch fortified my reasons to not watch and the most recent occurrances of this kneel down stuff set it in concrete that i will not return. just play the game: run, pass, score celebrate victory and if youz still need to protest do it on your dime.
    the end

  2. always good to read your articles whether i agree or not still informative

  3. I laughed so hard during this! Goodell has been a failure!

  4. Kelley

    I like the way you pointed out that the coverage of the NFL’s domestic abuse problems decreased as soon as they got political.

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