NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR AMERICAN LIBERALS AND AMERICAN CONSERVATIVES

ALL Presidents are fair game for this type of ridicule. Deal with it Liberals.

ALL Presidents are fair game for this type of ridicule. Deal with it Liberals.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG! Regular readers are very familiar with how much contempt I feel for the shrill fanatics of American Liberalism and American Conservatism. To usher in 2014 here are some suggested New Year’s resolutions for all of those overgrown children.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR AMERICAN LIBERALS

* Stop being such hilariously pretentious asses and such cowardly hypocrites.

* Grow a backbone and begin criticizing Islam’s homophobia and misogny as much as they criticize Christianity for those same faults.

* Acknowledge the genuine pain and financial hardship that Barack Obama’s policies have caused and stop callously denigrating the victims of his heartlessness when they speak out.

* Try to remember a time when they were capable of spontaneous human emotions without distorting them through the prism of their bizarre political prejudices. 

* Stop acting as if they own African-Americans and begin to respect the fact that they do not need approval from Liberals to hold political opinions that Liberals disagree with.

* Recognize how shallow and immature their worldview is and how that shallowness and immaturity is reflected in the way it is mostly people in their teens and early twenties who mindlessly believe in the self-congratulatory tenets of American Liberalism.

* Knock off their whining about how Youtube is loaded with video evidence of all the imbecilic things Barack Obama has said since they made a point of ridiculing all the imbecilic things George W Bush said. 

* Accept the fact that people voting for Liberal candidates is a mere reflection that the voters find Liberals just slighly less repulsive than they find Conservatives to be and that it does NOT mean that people espouse every aspect of the totalitarian attitude of American Liberals. 

* Stop deluding themselves into thinking that they are the only people in the world who are compassionate and caring. 

* Abandon their ugly policy of “oppressing by posing as the oppressed”.

* Rethink their creepy and fascistic worship of the weak, inept and crooked Little Barry Obama.

* Stop trying to take credit for what previous generations of Liberals had the bravery to accomplish. Siding with them through the benefit of hindsight does NOT mean you would have been brave enough to stand with them back when it was risky to do so. Quite the contrary given your gutless refusal to speak out about Islam’s homophobia and misogyny. 

* Acknowledge the fact that allowing millions of illegal immigrants to continue to just stroll across the border is an issue that impacts the entire nation and it is a legitimate issue of discussion.

. Recognize the fact that their shrill, snobbish pomposity is part of the reason so many people around the world despise America.

* Abandon the notion that the country would be paradise if Liberals got everything they wanted and there was no opposition party. Detroit and California have had Democratic control for decades with such tiny Republican minorities that Liberals always got their way. The result has been the economic decay and collapse of Detroit and California. 

* Stop pretending it is still the 1960’s and acknowledge that we live in a much different world now.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR AMERICAN CONSERVATIVES

* Stop sniveling and whining about the simple fact that news outlets show political bias and start doing something about it by obtaining more media outlets of their own.

* If they refuse to obtain more media outlets they will NOT snivel and whine if they lose the midterm elections despite all the odds. 

* Grow up and realize that they sound like ridiculous caricatures when they call other people communists and socialists.

* Acknowledge that they have lost the Culture Wars and begin functioning as a counter-culture, which is what they truly are at this point.

* Stop trying to get the ridiculous concepts in the Bible cemented in the actual laws that people have to live by.

* Acknowledge that other people’s sex lives are none of their business and accept the notion that if their God really does find other people’s sexual behavior to be wrong then punishment will be inflicted AFTER DEATH and it is not the place of Conservatives to seek to punish those people here in the material world.

* Refrain from watching television shows and movies that will likely upset their 1800’s sensibilities in order to spare the rest of us from their indignant complaints about those shows and movies.

* Accept the fact that the general disgust with Barack Obama does NOT mean that the voters are becoming Conservatives. This means that in order to win elections American Conservatives still need to join the 21st Century.

* Stop being such wimps and start flagrantly flouting the laws they disagree with the same way that American Liberals do on a regular basis.

* Stop going berserk over Mexican flags flying at weddings of Mexican immigrants and acknowledge that Italian and Irish weddings often feature flags of Italy and Ireland and it does not represent hatred of the United States.

* Stop calling Little Barry Obama “arrogant” and call him “pompous” instead. Calling someone arrogant makes them sound like a hero from a Gothic romance novel. Calling them pompous is a genuine insult. 

* Wise up and stop letting the comment sections at their own websites be dominated by trolls who enjoy taunting the legitimate commenters. 

FOR MORE ON LIBERAL ZOMBIES AND CONSERVATIVE ZOMBIES CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/category/liberals-and-conservatives/

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

24 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

24 responses to “NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR AMERICAN LIBERALS AND AMERICAN CONSERVATIVES

  1. This was fun! I am so sick of liberals and conservatives.

  2. If it wasn’t 4 us liberals u’d b living in a dictatorship.

    • LMFAO! I know you silly drama queens like to think that but come on! You pompous fools EMBRACE real-life dictators like Hugo Chavez, Castro, the Kim family in North Korea. I hate to break it to you sickening little asses but even the worst Republican presidents are gone after 8 years so they are NOT dictators no matter how much you shrill children try to pretend they are.

  3. Liberals and conservatives could all learn from this! You’re my new hero!

  4. It would be nice if liberals and conservatives would do this.

  5. r u a liberal or a conservative?

  6. You are getting a reputation over here as the best place to go for honest assessments of American liberals and conservatives.

  7. Excellent take! You are my new hero when it comes to political blogging!

  8. lol I enjoyed this! Nice 2 c somebody go after both sides.

  9. NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR AMERICAN LIBERALS AND AMERICAN CONSERVATIVES | Balladeer’s Blog

  10. So do u just have no opinions at all?

  11. Quartermain

    Even if conservatives and liberals read this, I think it would go over their heads.

  12. American Liberals and conservatives are scary!

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