A movie guaranteed to contain absolutely NO accurate information.

A movie guaranteed to contain absolutely NO accurate information.


Welcome to a special Frontierado Edition of Balladeer’s Blog’s look at this neglected cult show from the 1980’s. The Texas 27 Film Vault featured Randy Clower and Richard Malmos as members of the fictional Film Vault Corps ( “The few, the proud, the sarcastic” ) showing and mocking bad and campy films preceded by episodes of old Republic Serials.

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday, October 25th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00 am.

OPENING SERIAL: An episode of Mysterious Doctor Satan (1940). (I have not yet been able to determine the exact episode number.)

THE MOVIE: Frontier Marshal, directed by Allan Dwan, has a well-deserved reputation as the worst and weirdest cinematic depiction of the events leading up to the Gunfight at the OK Corral. Randolph Scott turns in his usual bland performance as Wyatt Earp with Cesar Romero a very unlikely Doc. As usual Doc steals the show from the hopelessly dull and straight-arrow Wyatt. Ward Bond shows up as a cowardly lawman, Lon Chaney, Jr plays one of Curly Bill Brocius’ thugs and Balladeer’s Blog’s old friend John Carradine is the movie’s main villain … Carter. No, not Clanton or even McLaurey but “Carter”.

Wyatt and Doc trying to cut the rear projection screen off at the pass.

Wyatt and Doc trying to cut the rear projection screen off at the pass.

Here’s just some of the hilariously distorted bits from this Parallel Universe version of the events in Tombstsone, Arizona:

Doc Holliday’s name is Halliday for some reason and is pronounced “Hale-i-day”. Characters say “Hale-i-day” so many times that if you made it a drinking game you’d be dead of alcohol poisoning about half-way through.

Doc Holliday, excuse me – Hale-i-day – drank only milk in the west until the woman he loved back in Georgia (his cousin in real life) showed up in Tombstone. Then he started drinking whiskey to escape the pain of seeing her again.

Wyatt was the only Earp in Tombstone. Not one of his brothers shows up in this rendition.

Doc was out west for just two years by the time he rolled into Tombstone. Like most of the distortions of the facts there is no reason for this in the context of the story. It’s just wrong for the hell of it.

Doc was a medical doctor in this version, not a dentist. (To be fair there are other movies that get that part wrong.) A hilariously maudlin tale gets told about Doc risking his life to deliver a baby back in Georgia.

Wyatt became a lawman in Tombstone when the previous badge-holder was too frightened to arrest a drunk Mexican.

Wild West comedian Eddie Foy delivered deadlier kicks than Jackie Chan.

Doc Holliday, er, Hale-i-day, is killed by the bad guys even BEFORE the gunfight at the OK Corral. In real life Doc lived until years after that event. Here he is buried in Tombstone under the last name “Halliday”. Needless to say his year of birth is VERY wrong on the gravemarker.  

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault.

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault.

The famed gunfight at the most famous Corral in history takes place AT NIGHT and Wyatt’s only ally is A WOMAN – a cheap saloon girl who had a thing for Doc.

Throw in typically awkward faux-western dialogue, a couple of cringe-inducing songs and a stage-coach chase that features the all-time worst rear projection ever seen in a movie. And I mean EVER!

At the time this episode of The Texas 27 Film Vault aired Cesar Romero was starring on the prime-time soap opera Falcon Crest, which no doubt provided some additional comedy fodder for Randy and Richard.

IN THE NEAR FUTURE BALLADEER’S BLOG WILL PRESENT MORE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT MILESTONES. Be here to share the Film Vault Corp’s mission of “safeguarding America’s schlock-culture heritage”.


© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. 


Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

61 responses to “FRONTIER MARSHAL (1939) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT: OCTOBER 25TH, 1986

  1. Awesome! Funny review and this show looks like an early MST3K! Especially the uniforms.

  2. Very entertaining post. Randy and the other guy seem fun.

  3. Ted

    Great post! This show was a groundbreaker!

  4. Wish episodes of this show were still around!

  5. Ben

    Never heard of this show until now. Cool!

  6. Between The Texas 27 Film Vault and Rich Koz’s show Mike Nelson looks smaller and smaller by the year.

  7. Shit! This was before MST3K!

  8. lmao ur reviews r so funny! And this show sounds like it must have been sick!

  9. This show deserves a lot more love than it gets! Good for you for making it so well known!

  10. Its good ur keeping the memory of this show alive!

  11. Doc and Wyatt heading it off at the past made me laugh so hard! Cool show.

  12. Great article – never knew about this show! Mike Nelson seems so overrated and unoriginal the more I learn about these old shows.

  13. This show sounds like an imitation MST3K! Lame!

  14. I would practically kill to see old episodes of this show!

  15. This review was so funny! I used to watch reruns of Falcon Crest!

  16. Superb look at the movie and a nice recap of this show’s episode showing it! Mystery Science Theater 3000 should have been called The Texas 27 Film Vault, Jr.

  17. Even serials! Every MISTIE in the world needs to get into this show and its history!

  18. And they showed it on the anniversary of the Gunfight at OK Corral, too!

  19. The Joker as Doc Holliday? I’ll bet they had fun riffing on that!

  20. Go Randy and Richard! They rock and Mike Nelson is an asshole!

  21. The more shows like this I learn about the more I think Mike Nelson is the most overrated person alive! Plus he’s balding and fat now.

  22. Awesome! These guys sound better than Mike Nelson and his riffing for food losers or whatever they call themselves. I can’t believe he’s gonna be in his 50s and still doing the same thing over and over.

  23. Hey fantastic blog! Does running a blog similar to this take a large amount of work?
    I’ve absolutely no understanding of coding however I had
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  24. I really liked this! It’s easy to see where MST3K got a lot of their influence!

  25. Awesome! Makes Mike Nelson look like even more of a ripoff artist.

  26. This sounds like a fun show!

  27. So funny! They really led the way for MST3k!

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  29. What a mess of history screwups!

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  32. Jace

    Your reviews are my favorite parts of your blog.

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