Charles “The Bearded Badass” Darwin
Some things happen only once every four years – things like Democrat Joe Biden having a coherent thought and Republican Mitt Romney prying his head out of his ass. Another one of those things would be February 29th: Leap Day. Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at some of the milestone events that got cheated out of a yearly anniversary by happening on this date.
1704 – French provocateurs and Native Americans attack Deerfield, MA and kill roughly 50 inhabitants while abducting 100. Ronald Reagan’s ancestor recommends selling arms to Persia to secure the release of the abductees. Elizabeth Warren’s ancestor recommends killing all the Native Americans and then claiming to BE part Native American when it’s monetarily or politically convenient.
1712 – In Sweden February 29th is followed by February 30th to help usher in the new calendar system … and because Al Sharpton’s ancestor demanded an extra day in February to make Black History Month a little bit longer.
1720 – Back to Sweden, where Queen Ulrica Eleonora resigns following general public ridicule of her name “Ulrica”. I’m kidding! But she did resign.
1784 – In France, the Marquis de Sade is transferred from the fortress of Vincennes to the Bastille in exchange for 3 other sadists and a masochist to be named later.
1832 – Charles Darwin explores the Brazilian jungle and gets a great idea for how he can screw with religious nuts even long after he’s dead.
1836 – In Paris, Meyerbeers’ opera Les Huguenots premieres. Nobody cared back then either. Continue reading
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