Well, the latest bad movie I’m reviewing comes to us from Hong Kong, which has provided the world with the notorious Lewd Lizard movies as well as the bizarre killer fetus sub-genre. For more bad movie reviews click here:  

Mascot FOUR original pics

Balladeer’s Blog

ROBO-ZOMBIES (1986) – Category: Enjoyably bad but not fun-bad enough for my highest rating      This film comes to us from Hong Kong, the home of some of the wildest and most outrageously violent films ever made. Many people in the U.S. are unaware that there are actually movies in the world that are so envelope- pushing with their violence and other adult themes that they can’t even be shown on pay-cable channels here.

That list of films would include many of Hong Kong’s “Category 3” movies as well as the infamous Italian cannibal films from the 70’s and 80’s and the occassional wild gem from other parts of the world, with Indonesia’s Mystics In Bali leading the way. All of that being said, Robo-Zombies is nowhere near to being Category 3, but is mild enough for most bad movie fans, who will love it for all the right reasons. Let’s start with the film’s title. For people familiar with the bizarre aesthetic sensibility that apparently governs the titling of Hong Kong horror films it will come as no surprise that this movie has absolutely nothing to do with either robots or zombies.

Remember how Mr Vampire 1992 had no vampire? Remember how A Chinese Ghost Story V had no ghost? And precious little “story”? Well it’s the same deal here. They could have called this film Blackenstein II and it wouldn’t have been any more misleading than the title Robo-Zombies.

This barely 80 minute flick treats us to the tale of a drug cartel that smuggles their product  into other countries by stuffing transported corpses full of drugs like Thanksgiving turkeys bound for Charlie Sheen’s house. The movie’s badly dubbed so viewers get treated to the Old School bad movie fun of the dialogue never coming close to matching the lip movements of the actors pronouncing their lines.

It’s supposed to be the future, so ray-guns are used by the drug cartel in lieu of standard fire-arms and you’re bound to laugh at how poorly the “ray blast” animation special effects are inserted into the film. Some energy rays look like they’re originating from the shooter’s elbows or wrists instead of their gun-barrels. (“I was cleaning my elbow when it just went off, officer! Honest!”)

The cartel winds up in an all-out war with a competing gang composed exclusively of female cyborgs with cannibalistic tendencies. These ladies have elbows and they’re not afraid to use them! The reason they have assorted cybernetic body parts is because they used to be hookers for the cartel, kept strung-out on the designer drugs their employers push, one of which causes body parts to decay. If anyone else watches this film and ever hears any of the characters referred to by name please let me know, because I never once noticed it myself, even after repeated viewings. Since the film features cannibalistic cyborgs you’d think a better name for it  would have been Cyber-Cannibals, but maybe that title was already taken. If it was, I’m sure it was by a Hong Kong film that had absolutely nothing to do with either cyborgs or cannibals.

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.         



Filed under Bad and weird movies

23 responses to “BAD MOVIE PAGE: ROBO-ZOMBIES (1986)

  1. lifewith4cats

    I loved this write up and jokes. But I now question your sanity as you said you watched this several times?

  2. Ha! I never claimed to be sane, did I? Glad you enjoyed it!

  3. Vince

    I don’t know where you keep finding these movies. Even the ones you make passing remarks about are new to me. Keep it up!

  4. No way! ur reviews rock! Their like a written version of MST3K!

  5. Hysterical! I loved every word of this review. I have got to find this movie now. Hong Kong films sound like a trip!

  6. Awesome! Finally found this on Youtube! It’s as bad as you say it is!

  7. Kathleen Kennedy


  8. Elmore

    Sweet blog! You have the most detailed review of this movie. Other Asian film sites just give it a few lines and dismiss it as amateurish.

  9. William

    I finally found someone selling a subtitled copy of this on ebay but the highest bid so far was way out of what I was willing to pay.

  10. Just what I was searching for, thanks for putting up.

  11. Merely wanna say that this is invaluable, Thanks for taking your time to write this.

  12. Denny

    Some dude is selling an old copy of this for $200.00 . No thanx!

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