BALLADEER’S BLOG SCOOP: My unimpeachable sources in the industry – and by the industry, I mean the business – have informed me that cult figure Bruce Campbell (pictured) was so inspired by Bruce Jenner’s recent decision to go female that he has found the courage to do so himself!
“I started re-evaluating my life a few years ago when I learned that reruns of Jack of All Trades were being used to torture prisoners at Gitmo”, Campbell confided to Balladeer’s Blog.
“It made me seriously rethink my legacy and how I’d like to be remembered. And I want to be remembered as the busty stripper I’ve felt gestating inside me ever since one of the Raimi brothers said to me ‘ Y’know, if I was drunk enough I could go for a real cutey-pie like you.’ … Or maybe it was Julius Carry who said that. It’s all a blur right now.”
THIS IS NOT TRUE OF COURSE! The woman in the photo goes by the name Sofia Staks and I’m guessing that she looks much better in other photos, so no offense intended.