TOP 25 LISTS ONE-LINERS

TO LIVEN UP THIS WEEK’S TOP 25 LISTS I’M INCLUDING A BRIEF ONE-LINE COMMENT (AS OPPOSED TO A LENGTHY ONE-LINE COMMENT) ON EACH TEAM

NAIA FOOTBALL

1. SIOUX FALLS COUGARS – How many of you will just plain throw up if I use the word “threepeat” one more time about USF?

2. CC FIGHTING SAINTS – No, not the Attacking Amish, the Fighting Saints who had a bye last Saturday.

3. ST XAVIER COUGARS – Kicker Tom “Tommy the Linchpin” Lynch was the Association’s Special Teams Player Of The Week, but Anthony “Crop-Man” Kropp and Mike “M Squared” Maher are still part of this super-team.

4. MORNINGSIDE MUSTANGS – The Mustangs are champing at the bit to take on Sioux Falls in a battle of the unbeatens which will also be this Saturday’s Victory Sports Network Game Of The Week.

5. MNU PIONEERS – As long as this team has QB Sean “How Bad” Ransburg at the controls you just know nobody wants to face them in the playoffs. (Yes, 1A football fans, the divisions covered by Balladeer’s Blog settle it all on the field)

6. LINDENWOOD LIONS- Last year the Lions gave reigning champs Sioux Falls almost more than they could handle in the Championship Game. One of the toughest schedules in the country may be all that prevents them from returning to Rome. (Not that one! Rome, GA, site of the NAIA Championship Game)

7. MCPHERSON BULLDOGS – The Bulldogs are slugging their way through the KCAC, ready to gnaw on any playoff opponents they may face in the post-season.

8. ST FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS – Yes, it’s a little-known federal law that 72% of the teams in the NAIA have to be called the Cougars.

9. DICKINSON STATE BLUE HAWKS – These boys have been kicking butts and taking names since the Thursday night start of NAIA football back in August. Many people want to know why they haven’t been a Cool-Named Team Of The Day yet.

10. MO VALLEY COLLEGE VIKINGS – 100% Brett Favre-free! Which means they play like a team and nobody makes excuses by dramatically clutching their elbow every time something goes wrong! Watch out for these Vikes!

11. OTTAWA (KS) BRAVES – The Braves started the season with a win in the Rivalry Renewed Game against Baker in this season’s debut VSN Game Of The Week and have been fighting like Saints (I’m kidding!) all season long!

12. WILLIAM PENN STATESMEN – Before the season started very few were giving this team any respect but they’ve done it the old-fashioned way like Smith-Barney and EAAAAAARRRNED it!

13. WALSH CAVALIERS – Ohio’s oldest team called Cavaliers are a force to be reckoned with and were even on my Top 20 College Sports Logos list months ago!

14. KANSAS WESLEYAN COYOTES – Cool name, cool logo, cool performances on the field from our 3rd Kansas Collegiate Athletic Conference team on the list!

15. S DAKOTA MINES AND TECHNOLOGY HARDROCKERS – The Hardrockers have been playing with style in their farewell year in the Dakota Athletic Conference!

16. CUMBERLAND BULLDOGS – Their coach may be Bland (rimshot) but you can always count on Cumberland teams to shine on the gridiron and the diamond and at Pavanapalooza Events!

17. NORTHWESTERN (IA) RED RAIDERS – The Red Raiders convinced any skeptics about their legitimacy when they nearly upset the Sioux Falls Cougars in their 1st game of the season.   

18. MARIAN KNIGHTS – To toot my own horn I was dead-on in my pre-season predictions about how lethal this team would be this season!

19. MCKENDREE BEARCATS – Look for the Bearcats to draw motivation from being the latest victim of St Francis’ (IL) last-minute upsets last Saturday.

20. BENEDICTINE RAVENS – Balladeer’s Blog tagged them as a team to watch before they were ranked (Yes, I love patting myself on the back!) and you can just insert your own Poe joke here.

T21. MONTANA TECH OREDIGGERS – Anyone who thought they had the Frontier Conference figured out this year (beyond having the Fighting Saints in the driver’s seat) was quickly proven to be insane this season! Charley Oredigger is pleased to surprise anyone who doubted them!

T21. WEBBER INTERNATIONAL WARRIORS – The Warriors came out to plaaaaa-aaaaaayyyyy (bad movie buffs will get it), handing the mighty Azusa Pacific Cougars their 1st loss of the year and then taking down NCAA Division 2’s 17th-ranked UNC-Pembroke Braves in back-to-back weeks.

23. LANGSTON LIONS – If you like Langston Hughes you’ll LOVE the Langston Lions (fellow poetry geeks will get it) who are determined to roar their way into the post-season.

24. AZUSA PACIFIC COUGARS – The team with the coolest helmets on the West Coast may have had a rough couple of weekends but are likely to bounce back in a big way!

25. FRIENDS FALCONS – “…And countrymen!” (Sorry) It seems appropriate to end the Top 25 list with yet another Kansas Collegiate Athletic Conference team, doesn’t it?

I’ll do one-liners for D3 football’s Top 25 list next week. Here are links to the other Top 25 polls.

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