LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND WHY WE DESPISE THEM BOTH

Two children of privilege who destroyed the American economy

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only Independent Voter site on the web that is truly nonpartisan in its criticism of the walking caricatures called Liberals and Conservatives.

As America’s favorite loose cannon of the culture wars (a nickname I prefer to “the brat prince of blogging” but what can you do) let me treat you to a breakdown of some of the reasons why American Liberals and Conservatives are equally despised.

In these posts I generally start with what’s wrong with American Liberals first and examine what’s wrong with American Conservatives second. That’s because, let’s face it, Conservatives are slapped in the face plenty of times a day with the fact that the rest of us don’t agree with most of their ridiculous positions. Fox News Channel and talk radio are really the only major outlets they can turn to without seeing their views and values viciously trashed.

American Liberals on the other hand seem oblivious to the fact that the rest of us disagree with most of their positions, too, not just Conservative positions. American Liberals are so pompously complacent that they actually think their opinions aren’t JUST opinions. They’ve constructed a nice cocoon for themselves in news, education and entertainment outlets that incessantly present their own ridiculous positions as if they are indisputable. Liberals have deluded themselves into thinking that they possess “the one true worldview” and that all dissenting voices MUST be from flag- waving, Bible- thumping Conservatives and therefore MUST be silenced. 

Like other adults here in the U.S. my own views are a mix of “liberal” and “conservative” attitudes. That’s why the rest of us find Liberals and Conservatives (with capitalized L’s and C’s) to be so outdated and laughably partisan. Enough preamble, here’s a list of some of the reasons we despise American Liberals and American Conservatives equally: 

Liberals think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “diversity”. / Conservatives think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “family values”. 

Liberals are pretentious fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “intellectuals”.  / Conservatives are nationalist fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “patriots”. 

Liberals mindlessly take sides against their own country no matter what the circumstances. / Conservatives mindlessly side with their own country no matter what the circumstances.

Liberals actually believe bloated hatemongers like Michael Moore and Al Sharpton. / Conservatives actually believe bloated hatemongers like Michael Savage and Rush Limbaugh. 

Liberals have hopelessly politicized the educational system, then feign outrage when people prefer home-schooling, even though it’s exactly what they would do if their children were being force-fed Conservative dogma. / Conservatives have hopelessly politicized religion, then feign outrage when people avoid church because they don’t need clueless clergy members telling them what their political views should be. 

Liberals want us to treat Christians like they’re less than human. / Conservatives want us to treat homosexuals like they’re less than human.

Liberals accuse people of being Bush lovers if they refuse to go along with the fanatical assertion that  George W Bush was “a dictator worse than Hitler.” / Conservatives accuse people of being Obama lovers if they refuse to go along with the fanatical assertion that Barack Obama is “a Muslim sleeper agent.”

Liberals pompously think they’re fit to decide who is “racist.” / Conservatives pompously think they’re fit to decide who is “unpatriotic.”

Liberals want to teach only the negative aspects of American history while ignoring the positive aspects. / Conservatives want to teach only the positive aspects of American history while ignoring the negative aspects.  

Liberals grandly admonish against “demonizing” and “dehumanizing” people even though they spend all their time demonizing and dehumanizing American Conservatives. / Conservatives endlessly congratulate themselves for their alleged “Christian compassion” but loathe the thought of tax money aiding their fellow human beings in any way.

Liberals sympathize with the inhabitants of inner- city ghettos but  snobbishly dismiss the inhabitants of trailer parks as “white trash”, too lazy or stupid to do better in life. / Conservatives sympathize with the inhabitants of trailer parks but snobbishly dismiss the inhabitants of inner-city ghettos as “freeloaders”, too lazy or stupid to do better in life.

Liberals think every single one of their political opinions should carry the force of law. / Conservatives think the ridiculous and archaic values  presented in the Bible should carry the force of law.

Liberals are cowards who want us to ignore Muslim homophobia and misogyny while condemning Christians. / Conservatives are hypocrites who want us to ignore Christian homophobia and misogyny.

Liberals mindlessly chant about the ridiculous notion of “social justice” with a straight face. / Conservatives mindlessly chant about the ridiculous notion of “American exceptionalism” with a straight face.

Liberals are unbearable asses who pretend they speak on behalf of all African- Americans and all women, despite all the evidence to the contrary. / Conservatives are unbearable asses who pretend they speak on behalf of all “decent Americans”, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Liberals thrive on censoring dissenting ideas and blacklisting people who hold those ideas even though they pretended to disapprove of censorship and blacklisting when they were used against them. / Conservatives resent the fact that they are no longer in position to censor dissenting ideas and blacklist people who hold those ideas but would go back to using those ugly strategies the minute the opportunity arose. 

Liberals consider anyone who spouts Liberal dogma to be “intellectual” even if they can’t spell or can’t express themselves in complete sentences.  However, if someone spouts Conservative dogma they dismiss them as “uneducated white Americans” or “traitors to their race or gender group”. / Conservatives consider celebrities who spout Conservative dogma to be “concerned Americans speaking out on the issues”. However, if celebrities spout Liberal dogma they want them to “shut up and sing”, to use one of their favorite cliches. 

You can come up with more of these yourselves. The annoyingly shrill children called Liberals and Conservatives are especially loud in a presidential election year, every single one of which they claim is “the most important election in our nation’s history.”

FOR MORE ON LIBERAL ZOMBIES AND CONSERVATIVE ZOMBIES CLICK HERE: http://glitternight.com/category/liberals-and-conservatives/

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. 
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66 Comments

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66 responses to “LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND WHY WE DESPISE THEM BOTH

  1. Wow.

    I always find it funny when some people say that China is so messed up but it seems that they have not quite looked in a mirror.

    Have you been watching the new HBO series, “The Newsroom”? I think from reading this post you just might like it!!

    • Thanks for mentioning The Newsroom. I have not seen it yet.

      I always like to mention that it isn’t our Constitution or basic system that is this fucked up, it’s the two political parties who are NOT mentioned anywhere in the Constitution but have grafted (pun intended) themselves onto the body politic like a cancer. The two already repulsive political parties were made even more unbearable by the way they’ve become hijacked by Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics.

      For new countries starting out, remember, democracy is good, but political parties are bad because they are repulsive mobs of white-collar criminals and they eventually get co-opted by bloated rich pigs of the left and the right.

      • Exactly.

        I find it quite humourous when people of any country walk around shouting how their country is the best country in the world. Yet… if I am perfectly honest about it all, anyone who shouts off that their country is the best country is actually delusional. They are just aiming for the “if I say it enough, I’ll start to beleive it too”.

        Current governments are killing not only people, but the dreams of childrens futures. They are corrupt, evil, power hungry, cooperate owned monkey slaves and the cooperations eat monkey brains for breakfast. They force their beleifs upon those they govern, and attempt to force them on the rest of the world as well.

        I’ve students who beleive that the American freedoms and rights mean that they can do anything that they want to do in America. And if you ask them, who taught them this, their responses are “my past foreign teacher who was American.” And let me just end with this one thought… is anyone really “free” to do what they want to do in America?

      • Your words about current governments are particularly apt. Governments are often in bed with various corporate interests and since governments AND big business both have inordinate numbers of venal, dishonest and cash-grabbing people in them (look at how corrupt the Obama administration is if you want the perfect example of governmental and corporate dishonesty combined) BOTH are to be equally distrusted.

        Unfortunately American liberals blindly worship government and American conservatives blindly worship the pursuit of wealth for its own sake.

  2. Reblogged this on Tying Molecular Knots and commented:
    That covers it rather well I would say.

    • Thank you very much CM! You’re the best! Feel free to mention it to friends. too. I get emails and comments from all kinds of people disgusted with the outmoded Liberal vs Conservative mindset.

  3. I know the co-opting of religion for the sake of politics is nothing new. As such, I’d like to add to Einstein’s quote “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” In my view, science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind… but science and religion without politics is just dandy, thanks so much for asking. I’ve been slogging through Michael Ian Black and Meghan McCain’s America You Sexy Bitch (which could have been more aptly named: Two Drunken Caricatures Pose as Human Beings and Take a Road Trip) for the Well Read Wife’s blog-link-up-discussion. This book as been pure torture. The Well Read Wife was generous to supply it, but it has been. I’ll be posting a review tomorrow–once I’ve flogged myself into reading the last two chapters.

  4. YES!!!! So good to read something besides the same old crap between libs and cons! You captured them perfectly. Liberals are pretentious asses and conservatives are outdated relics of the early years.

    I’m putting this on my facebook and telling everyone I know about it!

  5. YOU GO! Everybody is so sick and tired of liberal and conservative b.s.!!!!!

    • Thanks! I know what you mean! We don’t need to rebel against our actual government, just against the Democratic and Republican parties and the Liberal and Conservative fanatics who have taken them over.

  6. Sing it out loud!!!!! Everybody should be telling off liberals and conservatives this samw way!

  7. oloryn

    Interesting blog. Just to throw some more fodder out there, I’ve long thought that the capitalism vs socialism fight can be characterized thus: we’ve chosen the two most corrupting influences in the known world, money and political power, and we’re busy arguing over which one ought to be used to counter the problems caused by the other. For some reason, the thought that some third (or fourth, or fifth, etc) thing might be needed to counter the problems caused by *both* (corruption usually involves both) has been ruled out of bounds by both sides. You’re required to choose between the two, without giving thought to any other solutions.

    • Very well put. That’s a nice way of phrasing it – that the Liberals represent rampant and unrestrained Statism and the Conservatives represent rampant and unrestrained Capitalism. Since both groups own the Democratic and Republican parties they do all they can to prevent any credible threat to themselves and their undue influence.

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  10. It’s about time somebody was pointing out how badly both sides suck! We need genuine compromise in order to move forward!

  11. nopolitics

    Freedom from government oppression and constitutional rights are not something you qualify for nor are they to be regulated by liberal authoritarians,or conservative authoritarians, on either side of the political spectrum as they see fit whenever it fits their agenda or plan for the “unwashed masses who just can’t understand what’s best for them”.The problem with partisan radicals is they think their opinion can be forced on the masses at will because they believe it is absolute.They stand for everything in this country that is wrong and it doesn’t matter what brand of political religion they slap on themselves whether it be liberal or conservative.In a way it has to make you laugh,the delusions of superiority and holier than thou self-righteousness is worse than a twenty four hour Dr. Phil marathon.

    If somebody robs your house,it doesn’t matter if they kick the door in with a left boot or a right boot,your house has still been robbed.A lot of people in this country are starting to see the partisan puppet show for what it is.A perpetual distraction to any concrete solutions to the problems we face right now and a giant smokescreen blocking out the large scale abuses of power and the trampling of the rights of the people by both political parties.

    “The illusion of freedom [in America] will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
    Frank Zappa.

    Great blog balladeer.You are a shepherd among many sheep.:) I go post with the liberals and they call me a right wing libertarian nut case.I go post with the conservatives and they call me a leftist nut case.lol Glad to see there are many out there who can see through the grand illusion that has been politics for a long time now.Cheers

    • Thank you for the detailed and thoughtful comment. I often mention that America is beginning to remind me of pre-Civil War Spain in the 1930’s.

      And not to pimp my own blog but I did a whole series of these “Liberals and Conservatives and …” posts plus I trash both liberals and conservatives in my reviews of the ancient Greek comedies The Knights, Demoi and also Plutoi (Wealth Gods).

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  13. I’m not sure despise is a strong enough word. Liberals and conservatives are the most destructive fanatics around.

  14. Perfectly nailed em! Liberals are pretentious phonies and conservatives are bible thumping fascists.

  15. Bravo! I don’t think despise is a strong enough word to describe how all of us feel about liberals and conservatives. I like the trend toward more and more independent voters. It can restore at least a little sanity when the candidates have to try to attract us swing voters.

    • Thank you! You said it! You can’t help but shudder to think how much worse Liberals and Conservatives would be if they didn’t have to dampen down their fanaticism at least a little to appeal to unaffiliated swing voters.

  16. Why don’t you just admit you’re a liberal already?

    • Because I’m not one. Conservatives accuse me of being a liberal and liberals accuse me of being a conservative. That’s one of the ways I know I’m accomplishing what I set out to do.

  17. This says it all! You described why liberals and conservatives get on everyone’s nerves and why we can’t stand them! Cheers!

  18. Great blog post! Liberals and conservatives are as bad as religious fanatics.

  19. Richard

    Like the analogy…. I despite the holier-than-thou attitude of both sides…. Desperately need a third party (a power broker)…. Liberals with blinders tend to be intellectual snob know-it-alls and disgusting. Conservatives with blinders tend to be holier-than-thou bullies and just as disgusting….

    • I agree with that sentiment all the way! They both need to come down off the mount and stop pretending they are far above the rest of us sitting in judgement on us “rabble”. If you liked this one my post on Liberals and Conservatives and Intelligence also addresses snobbery.

  20. Richard

    correction “despise” instead of “despite”

  21. I didn’t agree with every single one of these but I can definitely get behind the sentiment. Liberals and Conservatives are all just needlessly divisive trash and fanatical jerks.

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    • I don’t hate religions I just don’t show any of them any reverence and I don’t think I should ever have to since I don’t believe in any of them. I despise religious zealots who try to force other people to honor their religion.

  23. Well said. Liberals and conservatives continue to do nothing but tear the country apart.

  24. Virginia

    Outstanding post! This nicely said it and criticized both sides excellently!

  25. This barely scratches the surface of why I despise them both

  26. I don’t vote, and I renounced my American citizenship. I despise Republican-Democratic systems, and there is only one party – the government party – in the USA.

    • I know how you feel. Ever since the Democrats and Republicans parasitically attached themselves to the body politic and became the ONLY realistic party options they have been behaving the way bastards with a monopoly always do.

      • Government is a monopoly – the only real kind. Honestly, it wouldn’t matter if there were thirty parties (as there are in some prisons, I mean, countries). The only thing that matters is Man v. the State. As long as people exist in this religious delusion of the State and the Party, and all their collectivist anti-reality herd animal ethics, they are asking for it.

  27. Congrats for saying all this.Liberals are unbearable totalitarians and conservatives are bible thumpers.

  28. U GO! Its long overdue 4 somebody 2 point out that it isn’t that the rest of us love liberals its just that they are slightly less disgusting than conservatives.

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